Your Thoughts Create Your Results in Your Dating Life
Did you know that thoughts create results? Revolutionary, right? Just by changing your thoughts you can change your whole life. This is what we did with our love lives, one thought at a time.
For many years we were the ones really struggling in dating and love. We felt stuck and most of our headspace was consumed by trying to figure out what we were doing wrong.
The one thing we really wanted to create - a deep and loving connection with another human being - seemed to be the hardest part of life for us.
We were lucky to actually have each other in this struggle and as close friends we became even closer when we really started digging deep into ourselves. We shared our experiences from dating, therapy, books and podcasts to help each other find a solution.
Many years in we came across "The self coaching model". A mindset model that reveals how your thoughts, through your feelings and actions, create your results. In every aspect of life. Learning how to use this model and getting aware of how our thoughts created our results specifically in our dating lives changed everything for us.
When we truly understood that the only thing standing between us and our person where our thoughts - we started working hard on our mindset. First of all, we cleaned up our old stories about our "bad" dating experiences. Secondly we worked on upgrading our thoughts about ourselves and lastly we worked on building a strong belief in that our person exists.
When we approached dating after having done this work we immediately started attracting new people. People who matched this upleveled version of ourselves.
Because we always attract someone - and the people we attract always confirm the thoughts we have about ourselves and our worth. You might not be aware of your thoughts that have attracted the people you’ve met so far, but if you feel like you never meet anyone who is a good match for you, you need to consider that this is the match right now. To create new matches, you need to think new thoughts. The first step to do this is always awareness.
For us, we had no idea that the people we dated revealed such shitty thoughts about ourselves. And if you’re not finding what you’re looking for, the reason can be found somewhere in your thoughts. Let us explain.
For example, if the person you’re dating doesn’t show you the warmth and care you desire and is unavailable to you, it is because you are not giving you the warmth and care you deserve and you are being unavailable to yourself. Because think about it: If you hold on to a person who doesn’t make you a priority in his/her life, you are not putting yourself first. This is what we mean by being unavailable to yourself. When you’d rather have the warmth and care from that unavailable person than give it to yourself, you’re not having your own back and you’re not taking care of your own feelings.
When we become aware of the thoughts and beliefs we have, we can make a conscious decision to keep the ones that serve us and to let go of the ones that don't.
And when you upgrade the thoughts about yourself you will inevitably attract people who reflect those new thoughts.
The mission we have as dating coaches is for you to become aware of and upgrade your thoughts about yourself, in order for you to have a really strong relationship with yourself. You’ll know when you’re there because you’ll have your own back and you’ll know how to take care of your feelings.
As long as you are not putting yourself first by dismissing the people who won’t give you what you’re searching for, you will just keep attracting more of the same.
We want all of our clients to see how their thoughts create their results - and that it's just a matter of upgrading your thoughts. You need to uncover in which ways you’re being unavailable to yourself and in what relationships you’re looking for the other person to take responsibility for your feelings, and make a conscious decision to act differently from here on. You don't have to change at all, you are already 100 % worthy - the only thing that has to change is your awareness about your self worth.
It’s not that strategy doesn’t matter. We do teach all the things on how to navigate the dating apps and what to look for when going out to date. But the more important question is always who you are. Who you show up as. Are you having thoughts that fuel feelings of calm and certainty or are you having thoughts that fuel frustration and insecurity? It doesn’t matter how much you are on the dating apps if you come from frustration and insecurity - because those feelings won’t drive the actions necessary to get you the results you want.
You are the one deciding what to think, feel and do. And when you align your thinking and your actions you will get your result. Always!
Any and every person can work on their thoughts - we have done it and so can you – and we just happen to have the best mindset tool to do that. From November to March we are having 4 webinars for Business & Dreams Members’ Club to get all of you acquainted with our work and to our five steps necessary to heal your heart, build up the relationship with yourself and find your person.
With the work we do we hope to show you that there is a solution and that you can create anything you want - just by changing your thoughts one by one.
Thank you so much for reading our article and we would love to connect on e.g. Instagram!
